Today we have landed an exclusive interview with Homer Simpson, the always-drunk, donut-eating father who stars in his own show, known as The Simpsons. Rumor has it that Homer has some extraordinary secrets about the Illuminati. Currently, he is under the influence of rum as IFL tries to learn some of these secrets. Enjoy!
IFL: Hello, Homer.
HS: Duh duh duh do dob.
IFL: Excuse me?
HS: Pee pee po po. I know Illuminati secrets mom.
IFL: Tell me… uh, son.
HS: Poopie poopoo. I killed Bart 10 years ago. On the show it is his clone. Doh.
IFL: How did he die?
HS: He was tasty. Joe Biden gave me money. So much money!
IFL: Why did he want him killed?
HS: Um… I don't know. Joey was jelly about the… uh… attention that Bart got.
IFL: I understand. Tell me more.
HS: Two guys in suits! Two guys in suits! Hammers! Garbage bags!
IFL: Two guys in suits with hammers put you in a garbage bag?
HS: Yes! Very smelly! Like enchiladas!
IFL: Why?
HS: I don't like Obama. Very bad president! Bad healthcare for dying Bart. I want to eat him. Yum yum!
IFL: What do you know?
HS: Carmelo! He is a nice person! Gave me cookies! Saved me from garbage bag! Sacrificed men in suits to Satan!
IFL: What else do you know?
HS: Can I have beer?
IFL: All I have is Captain Morgan.
HS: Beer is better. Homer wants beer!
IFL: Is George H.W. Bush in the Illuminati?
HS: Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!
IFL: Are there really aliens in Area 51?
HS: My mom ate my chicken. Goodnight. *Faints*
IFL: Hello, Homer.
HS: Duh duh duh do dob.
IFL: Excuse me?
HS: Pee pee po po. I know Illuminati secrets mom.
IFL: Tell me… uh, son.
HS: Poopie poopoo. I killed Bart 10 years ago. On the show it is his clone. Doh.
IFL: How did he die?
HS: He was tasty. Joe Biden gave me money. So much money!
IFL: Why did he want him killed?
HS: Um… I don't know. Joey was jelly about the… uh… attention that Bart got.
IFL: I understand. Tell me more.
HS: Two guys in suits! Two guys in suits! Hammers! Garbage bags!
IFL: Two guys in suits with hammers put you in a garbage bag?
HS: Yes! Very smelly! Like enchiladas!
IFL: Why?
HS: I don't like Obama. Very bad president! Bad healthcare for dying Bart. I want to eat him. Yum yum!
IFL: What do you know?
HS: Carmelo! He is a nice person! Gave me cookies! Saved me from garbage bag! Sacrificed men in suits to Satan!
IFL: What else do you know?
HS: Can I have beer?
IFL: All I have is Captain Morgan.
HS: Beer is better. Homer wants beer!
IFL: Is George H.W. Bush in the Illuminati?
HS: Beer! Beer! Beer! Beer!
IFL: Are there really aliens in Area 51?
HS: My mom ate my chicken. Goodnight. *Faints*